Falling Apart

A Story About Seasons.

She left a piece of herself everywhere she went.

For some reason she just couldn’t keep herself together.

If you were to see her you might feel sorry, maybe a little sad, perhaps even intrigued by the sight of her being.

Only her core remained in tact, while the rest of her shed like a tree in the autumn. She wasn’t sure how it started, but what she did know was that everyone else seemed to keep it together. It didn’t really matter to her, though, because she was never angry at the trees for being bare in the winter nor the animals for hibernating in the cold — she knew that the most natural things in life have their seasons and she refused to believe she was an exception to that rule. So she looked more closely at those who “had it together,” their own leaves hot glued to their branches, dyed green to keep them vibrant, plastic branches taped to their hand-painted trunks, and she thought to herself if only they knew, withering does not mean death and shedding does not mean dying.

So she kept walking, head held high, leaves flying and dying and trailing behind, because she really didn’t mind. The shedding, the crying, the tears, and apparent dying were all ingredients to hope for another day. She knew fall was only a season, and the shedding was only a door — a gateway to a part of her self she never knew before. Patience was what she needed, and kindness to her reflection. Who she appeared to be now would be different in a moment, and all this falling and all this shedding would bring about the truth. The truth about who she was, the truth about who she is, and the truth about who she could be. Patience and kindness over shame and deceit would bring her through the fall, through the winter, and to the spring.

And the same goes for you, you wanderer of the day, you too should know this secret of the dying. Don’t rush the browns of fall or the barrenness of winter, because doing so will shun the vibrant blooms of spring. Be patient with yourself, be kind to your reflection. Time, space, and Spirit will surely clear up your complexion.

Originally Published: October 29, 2016